I got loads of real absinthe from Skooma while playing Skyrim and have no regrets

I don’t feel like skooma is a good fit for a party. Elder Scrolls lore states that this psychedelic drink is brewed in mysterious alchemy laboratories and sold for piles of dirty gold by Khajiit caravans around Skyrim, the psychological effect is like going into an especially dulled ketamine binge. Or in other words: a brief period of watery orgasm followed by disabling narcolepsy.

The skooma junkies you find in the game never seem to get excited about what life has led them to; Who wants to be horizontal in the Whiterun flophouse, heavy bags under your eyes, trying to score a new Dragonborn score? So when my porcelain jar arrived from the skooma store from premium British distillery Jim & Tonic (Opens in a new tab), I found myself wondering if imperialism was about to kick my doors and drag my ass into Cyrodiil. Obviously, Tamriel would be better off if Skooma was cleared of the streets.

As real as Skooma from Skyrim.

(Image credit: Jim and Tonic/Bethesda)

Jim and Tonic’s Skooma absinthe special edition weighs 69% ABV and costs £69.00 for 70cl. Currently out of stock, and by the time we imported the Luke bottle to the States, it cost us $139. Please drink (and spend) more responsibly.